The Book of oblivion
24 October 2005
This is for those who freed themselves from the chains of academic philosophy.
This is for those who think their own thoughts – and don’t TRY to follow them through to “necessary” conclusions. This is a wild, unnecessary book – for free and necessary people.
1.
There was a man sitting next to me on the train, as I was coming back from work today; white, large trousers, black beard, and Muslim hat. Red, little book in his hands – he was reading his prayers: indeed, uttering them in a semi-loud voice (whispering). I was reading Borges’ piece “Three Versions of Judas”, while he was deep in his prayers. The train was overcrowded with lonely, tired people. He seemed the only one at peace with himself and wig everyone else. I felt closer to that man (tranquil and happy with his prayer book) than to all others – lonely, just like me.
He wasn’t self-absorbed, or in any way withdrawn. He made friendly gestures towards those who were accidentally touching him (because of the train’s sudden movements), he smiled – while still saying his prayers.
2.
Monsters grow up inside you – fears, loneliness, rage; all – uncried tears. And, worst of all – corpses of dreams. Of all those dreams that slowly die, or those that are becoming shallower as days go by. You agonise with each and every one of them – until you start to write, in order to forget… And crawl back to life again.
3.
Anch’io sono pittore!
Me, too, I live and work and strive in the same place as you do.
But, unlike you, I must earn recognition for my identity and belonging.
1. Well, I like to observe people around me as you did on the train. People’s behaviour and reactions are the best pushers of my curiosity about the world, as a whole. My best friend and I have a strange habit of analysing people around us. Thus, I did so on Valentine’s day. I went to the Costa café near Wembley Park station to have lunch, and when I took everything I need (my latte and a panino), I saw a couple sitting at a table next to me. It was a young woman and a man. The first thing I noticed was that she was thinking how and what to say, while the man was trying to fill in the silence and raised all possible topics to discuss. At that moment I saw a rose on their table and realized that this couple was perhaps on a first date, so that is why everything looked so weird and the air between them was so tense.
2. “Monsters grow up inside you ” that is absolutely true, I agree with it and I could not deny that we allow them to grow inside of us. That is our biggest mistake, we should learn to overcome our fear and dreads.
3. If I translate it right that phrase is Italian and it is basically means that I am a painter too. We are all painters in our life especially. Some of us prefer bright colours, some the dark ones. “But, unlike you, I must earn recognition for my identity and belonging”- this quote makes me feel in uncertain way as I do not think that anybody should prove something to themselves or to anybody else. It is your own choice where to go and whom to become. It is your way and you follow it. You’re free if you want to be free!