The ethics of memory
2 September 2015
Quiz of the day
1. Can we forgive on somebody else’s behalf? If they died for us and our freedom, should we forgive those who killed them, either with guns or with their silent mechanisms of persistent oppression?
2. Which is more important – to forgive, or to keep the memory of what happened alive?
“Remembering is an ethical act, has ethical value in and of itself” (Susan Sontag, Regarding the Pain of Others).
3. How else can we respond to such earth-shattering historical events, as a revolution? Forgive but not forget? Honor that hard-won freedom – how? Can we respond to anything without listening first? And is this that kind of ‘clinical’ type of listening that Nietzsche spoke of, aimed at identifying symptoms of hidden illnesses?
If response to the first question, I believe that one should move past what has happened eventually, that does not mean one cannot grieve or be happy if one needs to be however, people must learn to move on and continue with life. As Seneca says, that we should not agonise over what is not within our power to alter, one must have a sense of detachment from the world to live peacefully. By forgiving is not to say become best friends with the person in question but have neutral feelings towards them and move on, then one come believe he has forgiven.
Response to Question 2: As I write this response, I reflect on my own personal experience and how I haven’t forgiven people who have hurt me in my past. Although, in my past I felt that it was better to hold on to the memory I am starting to realize that wasn’t the best decision. I still have a lot of pain that lingers inside me and I wonder why I keep people at a certain distance. I think I need to start letting go and be happy again. In the Bible, Ephesians 4:31-32 states, Get ride of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This scripture really resonates with me because it shows me that I really need to learn how to forgive to set myself free.
I know forgiving someone is one of the hardest things anyone can do but we have to learn in order to have a peace of mind and accept what has happened. Some people might think that forgiveness is for the other person but in reality when you are forgiving someone you are doing it for yourself. When you keep the memory of what has happened you are holding on to sorrow, neglect, pain, anger and so much more. Allowing yourself not to forgive does more harm than good because you are allowing the situation to control you. When you live in the past you are blocking yourself from being truly happy. One thought or seeing that one person that has done you harm can trigger all those negative emotions. The act of forgiveness is definitely something we all struggle with but once we truly grasp the true understanding there would be a lot more mended relationships.
Response to Q1:
I don’t think we can forgive on somebody’s else’s behalf. I believe forgiveness is a very personal thing. For instance, the same experience can happen to a group of people. Some can find it easy to forgive for many reasons such as faith or inner peace in themselves. On the other hand some people may never be able to forgive because it was such a difficult to experience. I believe we try to forgive for others but in reality it’s finding peace for ourselves to make ourselves eel better. If someone died for us, such as the soldiers in Iraq we can forgive the people who killed them for us. For the person who died, we don’t know if they ever would forgive them because they are in another place separate from this world.
Comment for Q2: Forgiveness isn’t about surrender or giving into the enemy. It is about acceptance, grace, and love. By forgiving somebody for the wrongs they’ve done towards us or others, we acknowledge that it could have been us in their position. We are all human, which makes all of mankind candidates for failure. Additionally, if we want to keep a memory of a person or event alive, all we have to do is think about them or the event. There does not need to always be an outward display of remembrance for it to be real. Our inner feelings are just as valid as our outer actions. Sometimes keeping a memory alive, publicly, can be harmful because it reignites pain and sorrow, or feelings of anger and retribution. There is no wrong way to show respect for the dead, but I believe that sending a person love through simple thought can be both emotionally satisfying and be a way to honor their memory as well.